In life as we get older, there are many things we wished we knew when we were younger, that thing for me was mental health. It was always something I thought that was for people that either didn’t have friends or just did not know how to keep their minds occupied. I was wrong and the reality is that we all suffer from mental health whether we realize it or not.
We are faced with multiple emotional challenges at work and at home that we have to deal with in order to live a better life. The fact is, you can be the smartest, most productive person, but if you are unable to control your emotions, emotions will control you and your life.
Becoming aware of your feelings:
The first step in learning how to control your feelings is understanding, why and what is causing your emotions to occur. Here is a list of feelings and how to become aware that you are currently experiencing it.
- Anger: according to the American Psychology association “Anger is a negative feeling state that is typically associated with hostile thoughts, physiological arousal, and maladaptive behaviors”.
- Fear: is when we are scared, while anger is the fight response, fear is the flight response. Based on the meridian dictionary it is an anticipation of danger.
- Anxious: This is when our minds are constantly worrying or thinking about a situation.
- Stressed: When our minds are overwhelmed we feel exhausted, we are not able to process much or do much when we are in this state.
- Sad: Usually when we lose something of value to us. It can be as little as not being able to find our favorite sunglasses.
- Jealousy: There are three types:
- Jealousy towards a partner, perhaps doubts that the person might cheat
- Jealousy towards a family member or siblings
Becoming aware, It is difficult to become aware that you are angry or are fearful because all of your blood has left your brain to your muscles, but this is a good time to try and think about why that interaction has triggered the emotion? You may not be able to get it right the first time, but as soon as you are able to determine the triggers you will be able to recognize the feeling.
There are many more, such as happiness, or pride but I took a shortcut and pointed out these because, if we don’t properly identify them, they can quickly ruin our days if not our lives in some situations:
How to deal with your feelings?
There are multiple ways to deal with your feelings once you have identified them.
- Go on Vacation: if you are experiencing a lot of feelings it is likely that you are hitting a burnout period and your body is on overdrive. A vacation will clear your thoughts and allow you to look beyond your current situation.
- Take a sick day: We need to make mental days normal, there are personal or work events that can impact our mind, we need to have the ability to detach even if it is for a day.
- See a therapist: it is never too late to seek help, a coach or a therapist can guide you and provide more context to your situation. For me, hiring a therapist was what allowed me to get through some of the most difficult times in my career.
- Create an exercise routine: The mind is a muscle just like any other. Just like in order to lift higher weights we do lots of rep, the same concept applies to the mind. The more you challenge it, the more information it will take.
- Call or visit a friend: it is nice to have a friend to share the good moments, but there is nothing more therapeutic than talking to a friend. It doesn’t have to be about problems, it can just be about how they are doing and what plans they have in mind.
Learning to accept
There is a great prayer called Serenity that goes” God grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference” . It is a very powerful quote to deal with time. We cannot change the past, only learn from it, and we can only change our future by the actions we take today.
If we can learn to accept our boundaries, our minds work better and are less distracted by things we cannot control.
Maintaining mental sanity
I really like this one saying from the famous motivational speaker Zig Ziglar used to say “people often say that motivation doesn’t last, well neither does bathing and that is why it is recommended daily”. Our moods go up and down based on situations life throws at us and we need to be ready when that rainy day comes by with the proper tools to combat it.